I did not know this was up - it was really a page I was making for myself and emotions, maybe thinking some day I would have to post it. I guess it went up when I dragged all of the files over to the new server..........well, I have edited it more. It is very truthful. There have been people who have emailed me very dumb questions, I have never answered them. Robert and I were open to the public in many ways, and because of this comes tabloid grade rumors. It has always been difficult. There is nothing in here I am ashamed of, nor do I regret posting if someone were to have already read this in an unfinished state. You see life as you know brings obstacles we may not foresee and surely are not always equipped to handle.

The Longest Years in Silence - &

Notes on what is going on more recently as life moves on.

This is taking a lot of guts for me to do this. Please play the music and watch the video of Charlie Chaplin's movie "Limelight." I have written a few words and posted some pics. With the use of music and visuals and a few words I am attempting to make a statement because I get a lot of emails from people asking me if Circular Times is still going to remain and if I am OK, if Robert is OK, and I rarely answer them as I do not know what to say - I have not had communication with Robert so I suppose no, he is not that OK, if he was, we would be in communication. I am not really OK. I am very sad, confused, angry, and I don't know where life is really taking me even when I think things are going OK. And, well, it is difficult at times when you are a person that writes and people read what you say and look at your pictures and you feel at times you just can't say anything (when I do, I sometimes say things I should just keep inside maybe as I am upset or I write and leave out a lot, so it does not make too much sense). But, sometimes things do need to be said, but, in a way that is tolerable and gentle, but, gets the point across. So, I hope this settles things and life moves on in a more positive direction. The music is very moving and feels just like our love that got lost - the movie is a story that could have been like it was written about us in many ways. Between the two I am sure you will then understand how it has been so very heartbreaking to me.

Eternally

"Eternally" written by Charlie Chaplin for his wonderful

1952 movie Limelight - "Terry's Theme"

 "Limelight"

Charlie Chaplin's movie Limelight was a great film of great love and overcoming personal insufficiencies.

Limelight bravely addresses the struggles and fight to survive disabilities and handicaps and the willingness to persevere, continuing to create new dreams in which to surrender and thrive. This feature is profound in archetype human frailties and the magnificence of magnanimous love that forever is intertwined between two lovers for eternity while exposing the fear in which love might be denied.

THE ETERNAL EMBRACE

Robert made this collage from our picture in the coffer and the Eternal Embrace

 of the skeletons they found locked together embracing. It was in our minds and hearts we would always be together.

 I got scared when I received this picture in an email though due to his comments of being together forever and knowing of his mental state.

      Robert and I have gone our separate ways. It has been 4 months now since the summer's events. We had a very special relationship for many, many years........We know each other as each other's best friend. We are two people that both suffer from extreme handicaps. You see, websites are an illusion and I have never really portrayed our individual real life difficulties. We have been through many dilemmas from dealing with physical disabilities to mental illness. We were 2 people who loved dearly and deeply and with that comes a loss that is also very deep. I last saw and basically spoke to Robert in the summer here in North Carolina where I was taking care of him the best I knew how and I suppose he too was watching out for me in his own way as well. Since then, my life has changed in many ways and I am now alone. I see people taking advantage of this situation between us and it grieves me severely. I did seek help and there was no response or the people took advantage of the tragedy and sought situations out that they might benefit from. It has all been very disheartening. I write the truth even though you may hear otherwise, Sometimes people tell stories because they have a hard time uttering the truth about themselves or others. The truth in this instance is ugly and obscene. I had reached out to 2 select individuals who were in key positions to help and they did not respond - why? The fear of mental illness issues.......................That is very wrong. If some one had a broken leg and a person asked for help, they would receive it. Ask for help in the mental health arena and you get nothing but silence..............

    Circular Times is growing all of the time and I am creating new things in my life to come as time precipitates. I am glad the hardships are over and the people who were deliberately trying to hurt us are gone now out of my life. Those people know who they are and what they did and how it hurt us so. And to those who deliberately targeted me, well, that is really, really bad what you did. Bianca, Liese, Patricia, John, Andrea, Walter, Steve, Stephanie, Ray, Liane, Noah, Logan, Mitch, Greg, Cynthia...........; the list is long of those who have done deeds that are unimaginable and unforgivable. We have both suffered from the damages that occurred on our beings from actions of others that have affected us in very bad ways. Ultimately, we were unable to mend the wounds as the previous scars were still very sensitive and the nerves too weak to endure. We live crippled lives more now then ever in ways because our lives were inter-dependent on each other's knowledge, abilities, love and caring. We have known each other almost 17 years, We were best of friends. I know many people looked at us as the perfect couple, and we felt that way about ourselves many times too. This past year there has been too much negativity whacking away on us. I do not know if we will ever be able to overcome the problems (we both have personal issues we need to deal with first before we can ever be a good partner to each other again) and be a loving couple again in the future. There would have to be many changes and others would have to leave us alone. I just don't see that happening, as it never has. They say time heals all wounds - I hope that means bodies and minds a like and that one day love can prosper again. If Robert and I are not to be together, perhaps we will find some one who we will love and we may have love once more before this life time is up for us. If that is the case, I hope those others and the public will accept whoever our new partner is and that there is no more hostile feelings projected on either one of us that causes us to go nuts.

Robert and I married in the Great Pyramid, in December of 2006. We said our own vows to each other. in the King' Chamber in front of the coffer. It was filmed during a documentary and one lady (the one who attempted to assault me in Egypt) says it is not real. It was. We have never seen the footage (maybe Robert has by now). Robert has since gone away and forgot he was my husband you see and I am left here all alone now. Robert does not communicate to me as he is obviously some one else now full time. We have never divorced yet though. I talked to an attorney in North Attleboro who said we need to divorce as some states and countries do recognize common law marriage and we are still legally married in common law until one of us divorces the other as we need to tell the other person we are divorcing and explain our grievances. But, since Robert does not respond to any of my communication, I will have to say it here in this text and some one I am sure will tell him about this and he will read it finally-------Please Robert, I have tried to seek help, you have gone away, far away this time and I am unable to bring you back as you say I have always been able to do before when your mind goes some place................, but, this is too painful for me and I am divorcing you due to mental cruelty, emotional abuse and neglect.  I was thrown back into Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and I got very ill from that for months. I am now pulling away from the symptoms, but, it has been a long haul for me. Now it is 4 months later and you still possess my personal items and will not return them in thoughts you still possess me. Please return all my articles and my rocks from Bosnia. Also, I have made arrangements for those rocks to be analyzed, so please send me my things and no longer hold on to them. Those crystals were given to me by loved ones and the jade ball is for my son as we got that in Quebec. The snake and all of that are my very personal items I use for dress and you know this. Please, send them to me Robert. (I just found this on the internet, it must have been transferred when I did the new sites as I just high lighted and dragged them all over to the server....hmmmmmmmmmm...........it was not even finished and all jumbled up and ..... very revealing - I had not posted this in proper.......well I am leaving it up I guess as it is the truth - I will clean it up a bit. As of this time in December, 07 now - Robert still has not talked to me or returned my personal property. He still keeps my very precious collectibles. This is very hard indeed. And then there are the infamous flash drives that contained images that have haunted me all of this time. Anyway, I feel the truth needs to be told so rumors stop that are not truthful.)

Well, so, I am initiating the divorce and once you read this, we will be divorced and that is that and then just return my personals please and do not hold them any longer. I just don't know how to fix it this time because you are not responding to any thing that makes sense and I fear you have resorted to old patterns for your familiarity to function day to day. So, I must leave you and move on because if I don't, I will stagnate and that will hinder my healing and my well-being and I can't handle any more pain. Also, the very people you told me you wanted no involvement with you are now in cahoots with on that myspace website and you are using that Andrea woman again for a really dumb New Age tour to Egypt after you swore you never would because of all of the bull crap that happened and how she treated you and me and all of the problems with those people that signed up. You told me you thought she was crazy to think you would use her again. So, that is all really, truly, crazy stuff, and does not make sense, and there will be more problems again, and it will just get worse again, and then if you do not try to improve, it will all end up bad again, and I can not face any more pain. I am very angry and sad at you because of what you did. So we are now to be divorced and on our own for good. Oh, I was thinking of calling Neil Young up and having him talk to you to help get you in line, but, I did not think you would answer the phone.

I recently saw a movie that had 4 questions that were revealing to the eatheral nature of our existence. The script writer did well when positioning this stance.

4 questions of value -

What is sacred?

Of what is the spirit made?

What is worth living for?

What is worth dying for?

The answer to all is Love...........

Every one needs some one to love and some one to love them.

Colette

Late December - 2007

Wow, I was on the internet checking to see if the new transfers worked with the web sites and I saw this. I did not know what it was at first. It is a page I had been working on telling part of the story about Robert and me. I am not telling all of it, it is very scary and I am in fear in ways. It is now in late December and I have had severe heart problems. I relate this to the stress of all of the weird stuff that happened in my relationship with Robert. I suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and have a weakened heart from heart attacks. I am to avoid things that create stress or trauma to me. These past months I have had bad tachycardias and trauma from this. I am now facing going to the hospital for surgery, I am very tired and my heart hurts all of the time. I know it got messed up again when all of this happened as it was so terrible and made me shake all of the time. It still does if I think of it. Robert still has my personal things that are dear to me. So, I am reminded everyday of him ( maybe this is what he wants - I do not know) and what all happened and it upsets me. There is much grief I suffer and my heart is weak from it. I wish for it to end and go away. I will go ahead and FTP this and update this page I guess and leave it up so people will know what really happened in the event I die from my heart or on the surgery table or something, I too want the truth to be known. I am very upset still about everything - something I DO NOT NEED IN MY LIFE. I am making plans now for the hospital and the doctors. I guess I will have something ready to post on the sites when I go. Hermione over at the Hall of Ma'at will take over Circular Times for me if something happens and I am no longer around......she is very responsible and I trust her. She already has the info and prepared to do so. She too will post something at the Hall of Ma'at when I go to the hospital. I just want a prayer for me that whatever happens is the right thing to happen for my soul. I do not want to continue living just to go to doctors and live in pain or be crippled. I have done this long enough and I suffer. SO, maybe getting the ole ticker fixed will improve my over all condition and seizures.....I hope so. But, if I were to pass and go to the great beyond, I want that to be OK too. I am at peace with myself and able to let go and move on. If and when what ever happens - happens, there will be notices written. If and when I recover, I will write about that -- on healing. I have been in touch with a Marysol, a lady scientist who works with color therapy. I had got a hold of her as I was on a search one night about color therapy as stringing the beads and working with the colored light they reflect, helped me in many ways with my pain and symptoms. I do believe there is something to color therapy. I am looking into it, thus me finding Marysol. She is working on some articles now for Circular Times. I hope to get them up at some point, when I do not know, and if some thing comes down, Marysol will know who to contact for Circular Times to post her articles. Wow, she is a very educated scientist and has a lot to educate people on about health issues.

I love this planet Earth and wish people would take care of it and each other a little better than they do.

XC

Now it is March 1st, 2008

First - no signs of Mary sol, I received a note from her and she is involved in some healing herself right now...so we will just have to wait and see.

Now - I am home healing and have been in recovery (really since the summer's events) and that is why I have not updated the site for at least two months - sorry.....I have undergone diagnostics now for my heart, instead of the straight on surgery which was proposed. I was also on an event monitor for 30 days. I took it off though. The cardiologist said I have tachycardias (I know), but, my heart is now in rhythm (no more wounded tissue from the anterior lateral infarct or enlarged left ventricle or the PACs )and he does not expect to see me again???? My blood tests were not all properly done and some need to be re-issused. However preliminaries show I have become anemic from some of the medication I am taking and so I am working on that now-phew.....I will take care of that too. All and all I am grateful to not need surgery (I was all ready to go, packed and freaking out)....I was told after the EKG and the echocardiogram I have a perfect strong heart.....just filled with tachycardias. I talked to the doctor about how stress and emotions can cause this to happen (the recent events with Robert had triggered my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - I am running at 128 bpm average) and that I am mediating and addressing issues that cause me grief. I too was to have a thyroid profile done, but, they forgot to do the test on that as well. So, I will get my thyroid checked at another time. I feel the most important issues for me to deal with now are Robert and me and all of the bad things that have happened the past years and I need to leave them behind as much as I can. I do try, but, issues come up as of recently, he released his latest book, "The Parapsychology Revolution" and this has upset me very much........Please see this link.  Anyway, I am standing up for myself more and more and this will be best for me to come to terms with self esteem and not allow him to continue to just take and take and do as he feels with out regards to my personal being and contributions. I am working on my spirit so my body will follow. I have come strides and strides these past 6 months, and since the summer's events that were so harmful to my being...............well, I know we all go through some things that hurt us so much and there are times we do not know how we will survive. A person just needs to persevere and look at the issues that create turmoil and bad feelings, put them into perspective and hopefully move on. This is what I am in practice doing when I write about my feelings and experience, I am in recovery, and this is most eminent. My plan is to lay low another month and see how much more I improve and start more work on my research again if able. That is what I want to do. I have great videos of Bosnia, Peru and Egypt that will be all very informative on many levels...all about what happened over there in all of those far away lands.....OK, will be resting more now and only posting papers on the site when I get the major graphics completed. I know there are a lot of them I have been working on Bosnia since Nadija Nukic and Silvana Cobanov came forward and told the truth about what happened in Bosnia and Semir Osmanagich of the Pyramid of the Sun Foundation. They were the two scientists I was working with over there who told me what was going on with the fraudulent scams on the inscriptions in the tunnel I reported in my letters from Bosnia. OK, that should all be very interesting when I am able to complete it.  Oooooh...............I really hope I can some how get some articles together.

Please wait for me.